I happened to meet a family while travelling for a business meeting.
Family consisted of parents, and two teenaged brothers. Parents were constantly nagging about their children’s academics performance.
They were not happy with the grades of these boys; it was evident as their parents treated them with disrespect and anger.
While having a small chat with the boy’s father, he mentioned that their education is expensive and he has sacrificed all his life’s earning to get his children the best education.
However, one son being in 12th grade didn’t perform as per the expectation and got an aggregate percentage of 86%, also he didn’t perform well in his entrance examination for Engineering.
Second son was in 10thgrade and he got an aggregate percentage of 73%, which according to his father was the worst result. He wanted both his son’s to pursue engineering and get well settled in the future. He was very disappointed and had lost all hope about the future.
I later learnt that they were going for a holiday tour; my thought just wandered and (correct………….)
I was guessing, if the start of the holiday tour is in this manner, what would happen to the entire tour?
Will the teenagers enjoy the trip!!!!.
Are the parent going to enjoy it !!!!
Let’s take a pause here, just some questions to all:
- Do we behave the same way, if we are parents and our children are not performing academically?
- Is this the way to treat our children if they lack in some skills, subject, stream ….etc…
- Do we have to put pressure on our children to get what we desire?
Coming back to my travel experience, somehow after a lot of effort, I got a chance to speak to the brothers.
Elder brother was interested in learning different languages and showed keen interest in English Literature, storytelling, poems and book writing.
The younger one wanted to pursue Commerce and was interested in becoming a Chartered Accountant.
However, their father wanted them to pursue engineering. There was a total disconnect with the objectives of both the individuals.
I remembered an incident, when I was talking to one of my counselee, he mentioned
“My parents wanted me to do engineering, I have completed it and now I really don’t know what to do with my degree. I am not interested in pursuing engineering and want to do something in the music front as I was always interested in music”
Everyone has a dream, we all do…don’t you agree….
If our dream is to see our children attain greater success in their academic sphere, mind you, check if it’s not your dream.
Have you checked with your child, what their dreams are…..?
What do they want to achieve in their life…..?
Have you highlighted their strengths……?
Have you spoken about their area of improvements…. their fear….?
Your dream is your dream…. their dream is theirs… let them plan it and achieve it….
If they follow their passion and put in natural hard work, which will come from within, mind and body working together in tandem as a team to deliver the ultimate result, success is definitely bound to touch their feet….
We are a victim of the same behaviour from our parents and carry forward the same with our children even though we are educated and successful.
Every parent in the school wants their child to be the best in academics; sports, dance…etc, and just imagine the stress that the child is going through.
I have seen parents sending their children from one class to another, when the child comes from school they are sent to the tuitions for studies, out from tuition they are sent to singing classes, from there they are sent to football class and the list goes on….
“I MISS BEING A LITTLE KID,
WITH NO STRESS,
OR CARE IN THE WORLD”
That day, I just overheard a parent enquiring about Saturday and Sunday classes for the child, so that there is peace of mind in the house and the mother can take a good afternoon nap.
When will we realise that these little hearts require love and affection more than classes. If we put them in such a stress, they will be completely drained out by the time they reach our age. Let them enjoy and develop some natural skills as they play with their friends and spend time with us. Let them learn to lose, handle criticism, which is the need of the hour.
“WE WORRY ABOUT WHAT A CHILD WILL BECOME TOMORROW,
YET WE FORGET THAT HE IS SOMEONE TODAY”
– Stacia Tauscher (healthythoughts.in)
New generation is so smart they can understand many things which we were not able to comprehend when we were small. However, they lack the ability to handle failures and criticism, which has never been taught to them. As a result, we can see so many falling preys to take extreme steps. They are fragile and can break anytime if not handled carefully. If someone would have guided them and told them it’s ok to fail and failure is a part of learning and growing, they would really feel that someone understands them and major fatalities could be avoided.
Be there for your children, be a friend, be a person who can lend an ear, let them speak openly and fearlessly about their goals and visions. Let them express their emotions completely. This will help them to release all their stress, get various options and different perception of life contributing positively to the world with compassion, gratitude, thus developing themselves to great personalities.
FREE THE CHILD’S POTENTIAL,
YOU WILL TRANSFORM HIM
INTO THE WORLD
– Maria Montessori